There are many great reasons to work on personal growth and healing including the maintenance of healthy boundaries. It can foster improvements in personal quality of life, overall functioning, and relationships – All things I am happy to work on with my clients.
But, those walls we all build to keep us 'safe' and 'happy' in the face of life stressors and fear of abandonment or rejection? I find that many of the ways people work to keep themselves feeling ‘safe’ and ‘happy’ in their day-to-day life can backfire in the sense that their methods restrict feelings of emotional connection with others in the name of predictability or invulnerability.
The latest qualitative science on vulnerability shows us that we might be shortchanging ourselves by trying to stay safe behind those figurative psychological walls which we have designed so carefully to keep us safe.
Many of us can benefit greatly by putting some of out energies into remaining open and working to remember the importance of connection in our lives; connection that is impossible to fully realize when we have built a fortress to protect our hearts and minds.
Brene Brown has some great things to share from her research on vulnerability and its contribution to a feeling of fundamental connection with the people, places and things that surround us. Enjoy!